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- If I could have one superpower it would be to not stare off into the distance for one hour every time I get an exci… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 day ago
- RT @standup: If you thought online dating sucked before, @sammorril has some bad news for you. This Week at the Comedy Cellar is new Friday… 3 days ago
- RT @murrman5: [to wife who just found out her mom died] did you say hold me or homie? 6 days ago
- RT @murrman5: [lawyer reading my will] number one. he wants his funeral to be outside [wife knowing number two will probably be about firew… 6 days ago
- Being able to deal with the anxiety of knowing everyone despises your service animal is a sign that you aren’t anxi… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 week ago
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